Ocean, while in love and well intention thought she was overacting, that he understood his classmates better. The problem that many of us White allies is that we think we know what’s the best thing to do but fail to listen when our brothers and sisters of colors speak about what they really need from us. Well, sadly she is right and when racism against her threatens him and his place in school, it’s Shirin who has to make the decision to stay or go. He doesn’t believe her and tries to convince her it’s going to be okay. Shirin spends most of the book trying to push Ocean away because she knows what a shitstorm it’s going to be when their relationship goes public. If anything, he likes that she is different and unapologetic. Ocean, truly doesn’t care that Shirin is Muslim or that she wears a headscarf. Ocean is also a good example of well meaning White Allies who try hard but don’t really understand how white privilege works. Even more so when they are afraid but shutting everyone else only shuts you out of opportunities and experiences that you would have missed otherwise. Over the course of the book, Shirin starts to open up not just to Ocean but to everyone else too.

The worst thing is that when she finally let him in and things inevitably go bad, she questions whether she is worth all the drama and hatred that is brought his way.

She tries to push him away to try to protect him but also to protect herself from the world of hurt. She doesn’t know why a guy like him would be interested in a girl like her and knows that while he might be a nice boy the world is not. That was until she met Ocean James, a boy who seemed interested in actual getting to know her. She went through the motions at school and break-danced after school with her brother and that was it. She had seen the worst of humanity after the post 9/11 fear of all things Islam and her wearing a headscarf made her an easy target. She tried to convince herself that she didn’t care that people called her names or insulted her or just plain treated her like a walking stereotype. It was just easier for her to get through her day to just shut down and not let people in. She is a 16 year-old Muslim girl living in the US 1 year after 9/11. I knew it was going to be good but I was really touched by Shirin’s story.

I really did not expect to be so drawn into this book.

A very large expanse of sea book review